My 2013 List

I saw a little bit ago that my friend Amanda made a list of things she wanted to accomplish in 2013.  It inspired me to do the same.  Here is my list:

Here is my list I want to accomplish for 2013:

1. Lose another 50lbs
2. Read more-ideally, a book a month. Is that realistic for me?  I hope!  (I may need some suggestions for both fiction and non-fiction.)
3. Unplug for at least two (awake) hours a day-no computers (except for music since it's on my computer), phone, TV, tablet, etc.
4. Work out 5-6 days a week.
5. Read at least two books to my kids a day.
6. Play with my kids more.
7. Spend time in God's word and prayer every single day.
8. Organize my house, get rid of anything we don't use/need room by room.
9. Spend a night (or weekend if possible) away with just Nick at least once this year.
10. Memorize scripture with my kids. First one of the year-Psalm 105:4 Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.

Santa

Last weekend, Nick got a text from his uncle telling him Santa was visiting the car dealership he works at.  Nick originally told him we couldn't go because our day was one thing right after another, but we found a way to make it work.  The kids wanted pictures with Santa, and the mall charges a fortune to do it.  Why not go if we could squeeze it in?  I thought it was a good treat for them after ringing the Salvation Army bell for church for a little bit.  They also deserved it for waiting so patiently later that evening when we went to the Bethlehem walk at a church a few miles north.  It was a long wait!

They all did so well, even Micah who I was sure would throw a screaming fit.  He is currently going through is his separation anxiety phase, so he doesn't even like when we give him to people he knows, much less a guy with a big white (fake) beard.  But he never cried once.  He was a little unsure, but never cried.  He likes Santa from a distance.  Adleigh is going through a phase where she can't seem to take a normal picture.  Her fingers go to either her nose or her mouth the minute we get ready to snap the picture. The kids had a blast, and enjoyed their candy canes after. 

The next morning we tried a few pictures in their Christmas pajamas, but not everyone was very cooperative, so we are going to try again tomorrow night.  It's insanely hard to get four kids six and under to look at the camera at the same time. More may be posted later this week after I get around to taking them.

Adleigh turns 3!!!

On Sunday, my third baby turned three years old.  How is this possible?  Saturday night I was thinking back to the anticipation I felt on December 8, 2009.  I had to be at the hospital at 7 the next morning for my induction (low fluid issues).  I don't think I slept much that night.  This was our third baby, but the first one we had decided to wait till birth to find out the sex.  The wait was fun, but I will admit, there were times I wanted to rip the bag that held the coming home outfit.  Only the ultrasound techs and a cashier at Kohls knew what this baby was going to be, and that cashier was more than happy to help us.  She put that outfit in three bags and taped it shut with packaging tape. 

They day went on, and we listened to the banging of the construction crew as they were working on Riverside's new addition.  The nurses were great, and the anesthesiologist was the best one yet.  I barely noticed when he got my epidural in.  He was joking and pretty funny.  I remember the doctor checking me at 6pm, and said I was at about 6cm.  Around 6:20, Nick went to meet someone at the entrance to give them our keys to let our dog out. My doctor checked me and I was at a 9, but she had to go deliver a baby who was ready NOW.  At 6:30 I was feeling a lot of pressure.  No doctor, no husband, but the nurses had me do a few practice pushes.  After just a few, she had the other nurse go find my doctor to see where she was on the other delivery.  This baby wasn't waiting much longer either.  My doctor delivered one baby at 6:35 and hurried back to my room.  We started real pushes at 6:40, and at 6:49pm, I had a beautiful baby.  Nick leaned in and whispered, "It's a girl!"  Seriously, one of the most precious moments ever.  There is nothing like hearing that from my husband and not an ultrasound tech.  Adleigh Rose had dark hair (a big shocker to those who knew me as a baby-I was bald as could be for a LONG time!), and fat, squishy cheeks!  She weighed in at 7lbs 12.5oz, and was 20 inches long.

That little baby was our compliant child from birth. She still is.  Adleigh was bigger than her older siblings at birth, but she is now a tiny little thing weighing about 26lbs and she's short!  She loves to give hugs.  She is content to play alone, and seems to prefer that much of the time.  She can be the sweetest little girl, but if you cross her, she will let you know.  She doesn't let anyone walk all over her.  She loves fiercely.  Adleigh may be tiny, but this girl has a personality the size of Texas! 

3 months old

9 months old

1 year old

18 months old

2 years old

 

 

Our THREE year old!!!

Adleigh with one of her most favorite people, Pastor Cindi.

These mommy wars are getting ridiculous

I have seen this ridiculous (and offensive) picture floating around facebook a lot lately:

 

I don't know about others, but it makes it seem like working moms feel they are superior to SAHMs.  Apparently SAHMs do nothing but sit and watch soaps and eat bon bons all day??   To me, saying this would be the equivalent of a SAHM saying, "Well, at least I'm home raising my kids.  Someone else is raising your's while you work."  (Disclaimer: I do NOT think that's true...just an example of the other side fo the argument I've heard.  I know some working moms who have raised FABULOUS kids, many I'm related to).  But if a SAHM actually posted something that said that or implied that, working moms would have a fit.  How is this any different?  How can the two be compared?  Being a mom is hard enough already, why do we have to compare and make one out to be better than the other?  Working moms don't deal with the same day to day things a SAHM deals with.  SAHMs don't deal with the same things a working mom deals with.  The sacrifices are different. 

 

Why can't moms just be supportive and understand that what is right for your family may not be the right thing for another family?  For some families, a parent being home may be the very best option.  I know in our family, I would be paying more for daycare than I was making.  Far more.  That isn't worth it.  Even if that wasn't the case, my husband and I decided together that we thought it was best for our family to have someone home with them.  The obvious choice was for me to be home since Nick makes more money than I did.  We even talked about me working part time in the evenings, but again, he makes more than I would at his second job, and this is what works for our family.  We'd love it if we didn't need that second income so we could all be together in the evenings, but that isn't possible right now.  We made the choice that is best for our families.  I struggle some days because I want the adult interaction.  I want to feel like I'm making a difference.  I have a college degree.  I used to want to be a career mom.  But after prayer and discussion, this is exactly where we feel God wants me, and I am making a difference.  Just not in ways I originally thought.  It's hard.  I'm exhausted by the end of each day.  But this is the best choice for OUR family.

 

I know some moms who want to be working, and love it.  They feel that is the best choice for their family.  I don't know all the details because I don't have this experience.  Some moms don't feel cut out to stay home, and that's ok!!!  Like I said before, I know some working moms who are fantastic moms and their kids are pretty amazing too!  They raised their kids well.  We are not all cut from the same cookie cutter!  There are moms who wish they could be home and can't, and they need support too.  Again, I can't give all the reasons because that's not my experience, but no mom should feel guilty for being the best mom she can be regardless of her employment. 

 

Motherhood is so hard!  The vast majority of moms are all doing the best they can and making the choices that are the best for their families.  Neither working moms or SAHMs have it harder.  Neither makes one superior over another.  They both come with their own set of challenges, sacrifices, and rewards.  Neither makes a better mom.  This mindset that one is better than the other is ridiculous.  I will never understand why moms have to be at war with one another over this kind of stuff.  We may not agree with every choice other parents make, but we should be respectful and supportive.  We are all moms (or dad's but I don't see them saying this stuff) trying to make our way through this parenting journey, hoping we are making the best choices for our kids. 

Something for me to look back on and remember

I am supposed to be cleaning since Thess is coming to town this weekend for ONU's homecoming, but I am procrastinating instead.  I don't really blog as much as I used to.  Four kids, three different gymnastics schedules, nightly reading homework, etc. etc. etc. sort of do that to a mom.  But, since they are all in bed (even Micah who seems to detest sleep), I'm sitting for a few minutes just to get some thoughts out.

When I first started attending moms group four and a half years ago, I went because I was seeking friends who were in similar places in life.  I wanted friends with small children who would understand where I was.  Most of the moms were either stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) and some may have been working moms but had schedules that allowed them to be there.  We were all in similar spots in life.  It was through church so I knew I'd be learning some too.  But in all honesty, I went for the relationships.  Nick has always worked a second job, so it's often just me and the kids.  It sometimes gets a little lonely. 

The group has changed so much since I first started going.  Some moms started working, some had schedule changes that pulled them away, I think some may have moved. We got some new moms in too.  The dynamics change with each person leaving and each person coming because it's a new personality.  This group has been good to me.  I never saw the change coming that is happening now.  It's a humbling change.  It's an "I've got to completely rely on the power of the Holy Spirit" change.  Never in a million years did I see myself leading a Bible study group.  I haven't led anything in a really long time.  We're talking since college.  I've even questioned my abilities and qualifications to do this.  I'm not super smart like Julie is.  (Yes, you are really smart, Julie!).  I'm not a Bible scholar.  So many times I have found myself saying, "No, God.  I'm not ready.  I'm not qualified.  I'm awkward.  I can't do this." 

I think God has a sense of humor.  I agreed to co-lead since Julie would subbing now that her youngest was in kindergarten.  I thought, "Great.  I can do this.  It will just be once in a while, and I have all year to prepare myself for fully leading."  HA!!!!  God certainly knows where we need to be stretched and how because that's exactly what he's doing.  It looks to be it's happening almost a year before I was planning.  Julie has gotten opportunites she can't pass up, and it's opened a whole new mission field for her.  But I'm not ready!  I've been thinking about this a lot today.  I do believe that this is exactly where God wants me, and it has been confirmed over and over and over lately.  I wish that we were doing it together, but I think God knows exactly what we both need to stretch us and make us more reliant on him. 

I've thought about it a lot more this evening as the reality of "taking over" (not really how I want to word it, but for lack of better words, I'm using it) is settling in.  I had a moment earlier this week where I just finally had to say, "OK, God.  If this is what you want from me, OK.  Yes.  I'll do it.  I am not comfortable with this yet, and I'm not qualified, but I will do it."  It's amazing the peace you feel when you agree to be obedient.  It just wasn't worth fighting it anymore.  But there is still that part of me that's sad.  It's not going to be the same.  Because of moms group, I have found one of my best friends.  It's just been a part of my week that I see her and we talk and have this time on Monday mornings.  I think that is the hardest part of letting go of her leadership.  I know you occasionally read this, Julie, so please don't take this to mean I didn't like you're leadership, because I did!  I don't feel like I can do it as well.  But when it comes down to it, I'm just going to miss you on Mondays.  I have absolutely zero doubt that you are exactly where God wants you, and he is going to use you in those schools.  Your mission field expanded, and I am happy for you.  But it's so weird not having you there. 

I don't know why God chose me to do this.  I have no stinking idea.  It's a scary place to be.  It's humbling.  But I'm going to be fine.  I have a peace.  This isn't about bragging.  Not at all.  It's about being obedient.  It's about saying yes, even though it's hard and we have no idea where or how exactly God will use us.  I don't know how God will use me.  I don't know why he'd even want to.  But one thing I'm learning is God sees potential in all of us.  He sees what we can do.  He sees what we can be.  And as long as we're willing to say yes, he can make us into those people.  I can't do this on my own strength.  I will have to rely on God fully and completely. 

Five years old!

My first boy turned 5!!!  How do they just keep getting older?  He's halfway to 10!  He is going to kindergarten in 10 months.  What in the world?  Elijah is the only one of my kids that I was not induced with.  We were scheduled for an induction due to low fluid (dealt with it in every pregnancy), but he decided he was going to come on his own four days before his induction date, 13 days before his due date.  I remember blogging on xanga on October 12 saying I really was hoping he would be born that day, but thought he'd make us wait.  At 3 the next morning, I was having some painful contractions.  I got up and walked around, but figured they would probably go away.  They usually did when I went back to bed. At some point within the next 20 minutes or so, Nick was waking up asking me if we needed to go to the hospital.  I asked why, and he answered that I was digging my nails into his arm.  I didn't even realize I was doing it.  He called the hospital and they said to come in, so he also called Heather, our friend who was going to watch Kylee for us.  I remember stopping every so often trying to walk the very short distance to the car from the house.  I remember him asking if I wanted him to stop at the stop lights and telling him if there is no one there, keep going, I wanted my epidural.  HA! 

We were at the hospital by 4am.  They got us in a labor testing room to make sure I was in labor.  I told them if I wasn't in labor, I was going home with an epidural because this was crazy.  Sure enough, I was definitely in labor.  They started IV's and couldn't get them in fast enough.  I was desperately wanting that epi!  My labor was MUCH slower with Kylee and I don't remember feeling much until the last couple of hours.  By the time I got my epidural, I was 8cm.  The nurse who was in with me wasn't very nice, and made sure I knew that I was really close to not being able to get one and kept telling me to just sit still.  Well, yes, I knew I needed to hold still while they stuck a huge needle in my back, but when my contractions are intense and on top of each other and the baby is pushing on my pelvic bone instead of where he needed to be, it made it a little difficult.  I was so glad I never saw her in my next two deliveries.  She was very short and not nice.  I was thankful to see Natalie when she got there.  Luckily, we got it in, and for a couple hours I could rest and doze on and off.  I only pushed for 24 minutes and suddenly had this beautiful baby boy that I was terrified of.  I grew up in a house where the only male was my dad.  I had three sisters.  I had half my pregnancy to think about it, but once he was there and in my arms, I loved him instantly and was still scared to death.  I know about babies and barbies.  I didn't know much about the boy stuff.  Regardless, this boy stole my heart.  I had this sweet little 7lb 2oz baby boy.  I had no idea what he was going to be like as he grew up or how his big sister who was barely past being a baby herself would think of him, but I was so in love.  He was the first grandson to a papa who didn't have and boys, so he got my dad's first name as his middle. Elijah Roman. 

Five years have flown by and this boy is so sweet, lovable, and loves his super hero costumes, dinosaurs, transformers, and his latest favorite-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  He's a good little brother to Kylee and a good big brother to Adleigh and Micah.  He loves dipping his food (almost anything) in ketchup.  He thinks he has to try to keep up with his big sister and is already learning her sight words for school.  He loves praying in Sunday school.  He thinks playing super mario brothers on the Wii is super fun.  He can make himself cry to try to get his way at the drop of a hat (a talent I hope he never teaches his sisters).  He loves to talk to girls, always has.  He is the sweetest little boy I have ever known, and I hope he never stops wanting to give his mama hugs!

I had more pictures, but the internet went crazy, so I lost them and I'm too tired to re-add them right now.  But here is my boy on his fifth birthday.  New haircut and they gave him blue gel.  He was so excited!

SIX!

How is it possible we have a six year old? I can still remember going to an ultrasound on September 19, 2006. From there I was sent to the doctor. My doctor was out of town, so I saw her partner. I found out that I was going to be induced at 35 weeks, 5 days. My fluid was low and the placenta was in bad shape. I called Edie at work and told her I wouldn't be back, that we were having a baby. There was a lot of fear because I was preterm. I didn't want to leave the hospital without my baby. I spent the next 34 1/2 hours waiting for this baby to make her appearance. I did a lot of praying. Praying my baby would be strong and healthy. Praying I wouldn't need a c-section. Praying she was safe. They almost delivered the week before, so I thankfully had steroid shots already just to be safe. But I was still scared. Finally, at 10:02 PM on September 20, 2006, our first baby was born.  She was 6lbs 11oz, 19 inches long.  She is now smart, silly, probably the most lovable little girl there is.  She loves to give hugs, she loves to learn, she loves to play.  She is in kindergarten all day long and absolutely loves it!  She is the best big sister her brothers and sister could have.  She is the best Kylee we could have.