Kylee's first day of kindergarten

The first day, they all line up outside with their teacher. Her teacher was so great. She asked me how I was doing, and I heard her ask other moms. After years of teaching, she knows how moms are! She posed for a picture for each child. I have heard nothing but good about this teacher, so I'm really excited for Kylee. I was so hesitant about moving into this district, but for the time being, I really believe this is where God wants us.

We didn't leave till Kylee's class started walking in toward the school. I held myself together. After that, we went to preschool screening for Elijah. He didn't get in. He scored in the range of a five and a half to six year old, so he's not considered "at risk." Even our income wasn't low enough. Good to know that, while it's low, we aren't at poverty level. We would be a hair over with just one job, but both jobs really helps. Anyway, I knew he was smart, but I didn't expect him to be scoring that much higher.

After that, I dropped Nick off at home so he could put in a few hours of work, then took the other kids to find Kylee a Happy First Day of School present. I dropped Nick off, headed to Target and promptly lost it. I did so great holding it in all morning, but once I looked in the rearview mirror and saw that empty Nautilus, reality hit. My baby was in the care of someone else, all day, every day. This is such a strange thing for me! It is so weird. I also think it was the first time in eight months that I wasn't stopped in the store by someone telling me I have my hands full. I guess people see a big difference between three kids and four? It was just so weird not having her with us. But at the end of the day, we picked her up and she loved it!!! She couldn't wait to go back the next day. When we asked what she learned in school, she said she couldn't remember. Typical of kindergarteners (or so I hear). I was disappointed that I wasn't getting a play by play of her day, but that's ok. Each day she has had a little more to share. She sure is an independent girl! Day one, we walked her to the line. Day two we walked her into the school, but she wanted to walk to her class by herself. Day three, she wanted to be dropped off in the drop off line. Day four, she wanted Elijah to see where her class (very possibly his class next year) was, so we went in. Today...she asked me to stay in the car andlet her walk by herself. My tiny little 4 week premature, 6lb 11oz 19inch baby is so independent now. I couldn't be more proud of her. It also helped that I didn't have to unbuckle anyone else.

Waiting for orientation to start

Outside her classroom after orientation

 

 First day of kindergarten!!!

(First day of school present)

 Walking in by herself this morning. 

School

No one ever told me how much faith it takes to send your child to school.  In four days, Kylee will be heading off to kindergarten.  After having her with me for the past (almost) six years, it's hard to think that she will be in the care of someone else all day long.  The thought of this has given me a little anxiety as Tuesday approaches.  Thankfully, I have heard nothing but great things about her teacher.  I know she will be in good hands.  As me again how I feel the first time the tornado sirens go off and she is there and I can't just go grab her and take her into the basement with us.  That actually has me freaked out the most.  It may be an irrational fear.  =)

I truly believe this is how it should be though.  This is the next step in our parenting journey.  It's one that is teaching me to let go just a little more.  I could keep her home and homeschool her.  I could try to get her into a private Christian school if I wanted.  But we firmly believe that our children are supposed to be in the public school system.  Both options are great for other people, but we don't feel called to do either.  It's scary sending her all day, five days a week, but it's the way it's supposed to be for us.  I am excited, nervous, scared, happy, and sad all at the same time.  I'm excited for all the new experiences Kylee will have, all the things she's going to learn, making new friends, and I know she is going to love it.  I'm nervous about someone else being her primary influence all day long.  I'm scared about what she will learn, that she will be bullied, or that something bad could happen and I'm not there to help her.  I'm happy to see her so happy and excited.  I'm happy to know that we are doing what is right for us despite criticism.  I know Kylee has great leadership potential, and I think this setting will be great for helping shape that.  I'm sad that the last (almost) six years has gone by so fast!  I'm sad about how fast these years go by, and I wonder if I've been the kind of mom that she needed to be ready for this big step.  I am hoping and praying that she will be a light for Jesus in her class, that the people around her will help mold her into the person God created her to be, and that God will keep her safe. 

It is going to be so weird only having three kids tagging along with me during our daily activities.  It's going to be weird not having Kylee around all day long.  But I believe this is a step in our parenting that is showing us how to let go a little more.  Our kids are not meant to be with us forever, and each step we take is preparing them to move on with life when they become adults, and it's teaching us to relinquish control and preparing us for that day they will leave home and start a life of their own.  SO SCARY!  I don't want my babies growing up so fast, but it's happening.  My first baby is heading off to kindergarten in four days.  I'm going to blink and she'll be heading off to college.  Wow!

Five days old and almost six years old, trying on school clothes.