I have seen this ridiculous (and offensive) picture floating around facebook a lot lately:
I don't know about others, but it makes it seem like working moms feel they are superior to SAHMs. Apparently SAHMs do nothing but sit and watch soaps and eat bon bons all day?? To me, saying this would be the equivalent of a SAHM saying, "Well, at least I'm home raising my kids. Someone else is raising your's while you work." (Disclaimer: I do NOT think that's true...just an example of the other side fo the argument I've heard. I know some working moms who have raised FABULOUS kids, many I'm related to). But if a SAHM actually posted something that said that or implied that, working moms would have a fit. How is this any different? How can the two be compared? Being a mom is hard enough already, why do we have to compare and make one out to be better than the other? Working moms don't deal with the same day to day things a SAHM deals with. SAHMs don't deal with the same things a working mom deals with. The sacrifices are different.
Why can't moms just be supportive and understand that what is right for your family may not be the right thing for another family? For some families, a parent being home may be the very best option. I know in our family, I would be paying more for daycare than I was making. Far more. That isn't worth it. Even if that wasn't the case, my husband and I decided together that we thought it was best for our family to have someone home with them. The obvious choice was for me to be home since Nick makes more money than I did. We even talked about me working part time in the evenings, but again, he makes more than I would at his second job, and this is what works for our family. We'd love it if we didn't need that second income so we could all be together in the evenings, but that isn't possible right now. We made the choice that is best for our families. I struggle some days because I want the adult interaction. I want to feel like I'm making a difference. I have a college degree. I used to want to be a career mom. But after prayer and discussion, this is exactly where we feel God wants me, and I am making a difference. Just not in ways I originally thought. It's hard. I'm exhausted by the end of each day. But this is the best choice for OUR family.
I know some moms who want to be working, and love it. They feel that is the best choice for their family. I don't know all the details because I don't have this experience. Some moms don't feel cut out to stay home, and that's ok!!! Like I said before, I know some working moms who are fantastic moms and their kids are pretty amazing too! They raised their kids well. We are not all cut from the same cookie cutter! There are moms who wish they could be home and can't, and they need support too. Again, I can't give all the reasons because that's not my experience, but no mom should feel guilty for being the best mom she can be regardless of her employment.
Motherhood is so hard! The vast majority of moms are all doing the best they can and making the choices that are the best for their families. Neither working moms or SAHMs have it harder. Neither makes one superior over another. They both come with their own set of challenges, sacrifices, and rewards. Neither makes a better mom. This mindset that one is better than the other is ridiculous. I will never understand why moms have to be at war with one another over this kind of stuff. We may not agree with every choice other parents make, but we should be respectful and supportive. We are all moms (or dad's but I don't see them saying this stuff) trying to make our way through this parenting journey, hoping we are making the best choices for our kids.
1 comment:
Amen to that! I always say that comparing SAHMs to working moms is like comparing apples to oranges- you simply can't do it. I wish we as women could realize that regardless of if you are a SAHM or working mom, you are working hard and doing your best, which is all that matters.
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