Attitude of Gratitude

It's so easy to complain.  Complain about jobs, or the lack of a job, complain about our homes-size, structure, age, etc.  It's easy to complain about the people in our lives-spouse, kids, family, in-laws, friends.  It's easy to complain about how horrible our lives are, and wish we had so much more.  I know how easy it is.  I used to do it.  A lot.  Several months ago, a friend and I decided we both needed an attitude adjustment.  She was reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp at the time.  We decided to force ourselves to look for the positive in each day, and at the end of the day, we'd send each other a list of at least five things we were grateful for.  We intended to do that for a week.  We started on October 13, 2011.  We are still doing this every single night.  If we miss a night for whatever reason, we do it the next day.  It was a great start to something that has been helping change my heart.

After being around a few people who always have something to complain about, I realize just how toxic this kind of attitude is.  No one wants to be around someone who is ungrateful and complaining about everything in their life.  People like that are very toxic, and they just start bringing those around them down with them.  I don't want to be that person. 

I used to feel like there was a lot I could complain about.  It was like I had that right.  But who wants to hear that?  I've found that I'm a much happier person when I stop thinking about what I/we don't have, and I stop and thank God for what I do have.  Nick has not one, but two jobs in a time where it's hard to find jobs.  We have a home to live in.  Our family is clothed.  We have plenty of food to eat.  We have two vehicles and no car payments.  We have family and friends that love us.  We have four healthy, beautiful, amazing kids.  If they aren't reason enough to be grateful, I don't know what is!  Nick and I have each other.  We have a church family that is amazing. 

The more things I find to be thankful for, the less I think about what I don't have.  I feel like complaining about what I don't have makes me sound so ungrateful for what God has given us. We can find joy in what God has given us.  I recently started reading One Thousand Gifts.  Today, on page 33, I read:
As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible.  Joy is always possible. Whenever, meaning-now; wherever, meaning-here.  The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional peak experience.  The joy wonder could be here!  Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be-unbelievably-possible!  The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now. 

I thought that was so beautifully said.  We don't need things, vacations, big houses, or fancy cars to have this joy.  We can have that joy now.  We just have to stop complaining about what we don't have, and thank God for what we do have.  There are times when it's hard.  There have been times when I sent Julie my list and I was listing out the dumbest things to be thankful for because it was just one of those days.  But those "dumb" things were still worth being thankful for.  In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it says to give thanks in all circumstances.  It doesn't say some.  For most of my life, I just sort of ignored that.  I have it written down in several places, but didn't really do it.  Giving thanks is easy when life is going well.  It's a choice, and a tough one, when life just plain sucks.  There are times it's hard to be grateful when things don't seem to go our way, and we just don't understand God.  But I have found recently that the more I give thanks during the rough times, the easier it gets, the shorter my anger or frustration period seems to be, and I feel a deeper connection with God.  Life really is so much more joyful when I live with an attitude of thankfulness.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Changing

It's been forever since I've posted.  I used to blog (on a different site) every day.  Now I'm lucky if I get to actually sit at a computer, and it's just so hard to update from my phone. I have to share a revelation I had on Sunday. I finally figured out that I am worth it. I am good enough. I have spent my entire life believing I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't really worth anything to anyone. I don't know why or how it started. I have never felt pretty.  Next to my mom and my sisters, I'm not pretty or thin.  Have you seen my mom?  She's beautiful. My sisters?  Yep, their pretty too.  Somewhere along the way I just didn't care anymore.  And it's led to me not being healthy.  Well, not a healthy weight anyway.  As far as my health goes, I have never had a single problem.  But  I want to be a better me. I don't want to be stick skinny. Nick doesn't like that, and I don't feel the need to be that way.  I just wanted to feel better about myself. It's starting.

I started on a journey to make myself healthier, both physically and spiritually. On March 1, 2012, I started Insanity. I knew it was working a little because my clothes started fitting differently. Then Micah went through this screaming phase where he screamed if I wasn't holding him. No one else could calm him. Nick tried. I got off-track for about three weeks. Then I tried starting back up. I tried starting over a few times for a couple weeks. Then one day in May, I just did it. I started. I don't do six days in a row like you're supposed to. I am afraid of it affecting my milk supply, and that is something I will not sacrifice. I just take an extra day off. I either do two days on, one day off, two days on, one day off, so I'm still getting 5 days a week in, or I do three days on, one day off. It may be taking me a little bit longer, but IT'S WORKING. One day, I noticed I was getting a waist again. Then I noticed my jeans were falling off as I walked. Then my shirts started getting loose in the belly.  My relay for life t-shirt was snug in the belly just a couple weeks ago.  I pulled it out of the drier and put it on...it's not snug anymore!  My baby belly is slowly going away. 

Fast-forward to Sunday. I was putting away clothes thinking about all of this. I've been spending time working out, eating better, and spending more time in God's word and with God in prayer. I'm changing before my very eyes. I have had situations come up where I would have reacted differently before, but God is changing my heart. Anyway, as I was putting away everyone's clothes, I was thinking about how much I love my kids, and that was when it hit me-if I love my kids so much, how much greater does God love me? I have to stop being so down on myself because I was created in God's image. I have always looked at myself through my own eyes, and I saw nothing but fat, gross, ugly. But you know what? I don't now. I might not be beautiful in the world's standards. I might not have a body that anyone in Hollywood would want, but God sees me like I see my kids. Beautiful. Amazing. Priceless. Worth it. Good enough. He sees you that way too.

I have no intention of stopping this journey. While having an amazing body isn't on my agenda, having a healthy body is. My body is God's temple. It's my job to be an example to my kids to live a healthier lifestyle. We aren't going to cut out ALL of the junk because I think treats are ok in moderation.   But something I learned-eating better makes you not want all the crap. We ate out on Sunday for Father's day, and later I felt awful after eating the junk. My body felt sluggish later in the day. My stomach hurt from all the grease. I just wanted to sit down and eat a bunch of fresh veggies. Even things I love are getting easier to say no to because don't want to feel that way again. I still like chocolate, but I eat less because it tastes too sweet now. I hope this change keeps up for a lifetime.  Me being healthier helps my family be healthier too. 

We took pictures when we started Insanity back in March. I started losing, then gained it all back when I stopped during Micah's screaming phase. On Monday I had Nick take a new picture to see where it was. I finish month 1 today, then on Saturday will begin my recovery week before going into Month 2. Changing eating and fitness habits work. But I do think a lot of it has to do wtih changing my heart as well. The pictures aren't pretty, and I'm not brave enough to share them right now, but maybe someday I will.  Being able to see the changes helps motivate me.  I hope I keep changing.  I hope I continue to let God mold me into the person he wants me to be. 

Summer??

Welcome...Summer?  It's only a few days into spring, but it has felt more like summer.  For the last week or so, you would never have guessed it's only mid-March.  It has felt more like mid-June!  It has been in the 70's and 80's most of those days.  We have been in shorts, tank tops, flip flops, and I even had to go out and buy sunblock already.  Our trees and bushes sprouted buds.  Our driveway was covered in sidewalk chalk until yesterdays rain washed it all away.  We've had the bikes and cozy coupes out, we've taken walks, and we even took our first trip of the year to the zoo! 

When we got our tax return, we decided to get memberships to Brookfield Zoo and one of the museums in Chicago since we don't take vacations.  I think we were a little torn on what museum to choose as our second membership.  We like the Field Museum, but we felt our kids aren't old enough to enjoy going that often right now.  I really wanted to do the Museum of Science and Industry.  I think they'd have a blast, but Nick thought they were still a little young.  We ended up choosing Shedd Aquarium, and at with kids five and under, I think that was the best choice.  We have already gone twice, and the membership has more than paid off already.  The kids have loved looking at the different exhibits.  Adleigh's favorite is the penquins for sure.  Kylee and Elijah change their minds everytime I ask them.  The best part about having the memberships is we don't have to rush through.  If we don't see something, it's ok because we know we'll be going back.  It was totally worth it for us to do this, and it makes for some great family memories.  Micah won't remember them, but we're hoping to continue with our Brookfield membership each year, and maybe rotate the museums. 

Micah is 3 months old now.  He's growing like a week, but that is probably because his one and only hobby is eating as much as he possibly can.  He has some really cute baby rolls on his legs and arms, and he has this amazing double chin.  He is very ticklish and in the past couple of weeks has learned how to laugh rather than just grunt.  He also figured out how to roll over-from back to belly.  Most babies go from belly to back first, but I'm pretty convinced this kid is bound and determined to do everything the hard way first.  He was like that from birth with a posterior delivery.  (Posterior is head down, but facing my belly instead of my back...not a great way to deliver a baby...OUCH!)  He is such a joy though.  He is a more serious baby than the other three were, but he is still quite smiley.  He seems to be especially smiley with Kylee right now. 

Next week we pre-register Kylee for kindergarten.  I can't believe it.  I can't believe my time with her is almost done.  She will be leaving me for several hours a day.  I have a feeling this is going to be an emotional roller coaster ride.  Sending your kid off to school takes a lot of faith.  Holy cow, I'm already anxious about tornadoes when she's there or crazy people getting in the school.  I have a feeling it's going to be a major time of growth for Kylee and me both!  It will be so weird running errands next year with only three kids.  I think I might cry just writing this.  I know sending her to a public school is the best option right now.  She will have so many amazing opportunities in the program she got into, and I'm very excited for her.  A little sad for me though.

On that note, I'm going to sign off before I make myself cry!!

Life

There really isn't a whole lot going on right now to post about.  Kylee and Elijah are playing soccer on Saturday mornings at church.  We love it because it's pretty laid back, and they are having fun.  That's exactly what they should be doing at this age.  Daddy loves it because he loves seeing his kids play a sport he loves.  I think he should coach.  I keep telling him that. 

Kylee, Elijah, and Adleigh are all in gymnastics right now.  They are having a blast.  Kylee is in Level 1 now, and she's learning to do cartwheels on the balance beam and several other things.  She is constantly showing us what Ms. Ursula taught them.  I think she is a gymnast at heart.  I think this sport will eventually give me a heart attack!  I think it's awesome to watch, and our kids really enjoy it, but man, I'm scared to watch them when they are a little older!  Elijah is in Little Pros, which is the top preschool class.  He finally got to a point where he can do the monkey bars with no help.  I imagine he'll be in this level for a while.  He has Ms. Donna, and she is a great teacher for him.  She doesn't put up with anything, she's encouraging, and she pushes them to do their best.  She makes those kids work hard, and I'm so glad.  Adleigh just started in January, and she is the two year old class.  They are so cute.  It's fun to watch her walk around with Ms. Rachel and see her smiles as she does stuff.  She likes it right now.  I can see Kylee and Elijah both being gymnasts long term.  Elijah says he wants to play football when he can.  My kids all want to play sports that are going to kill me by watching them!  HA! 

Micah is growing like a weed.  Why do they have to grow so fast?  He is smiling more, cooing, and he even laughed for the first time this weekend.  I almost cried because it was fun to hear that first laugh, but I will never hear another first laugh.  Every one of his firsts are our lasts, and it's so bittersweet.  Our family is complete, and we are happy with our decision, but there's a part of me that will miss all this baby stuff when we're done.

Nick is working on getting another round of FPU started.  He is working up north and at Monicals.  I can't complain, he is a good provider for our family, I'd just like to have him home more.  We are praying that God will open some doors to get a job closer to home.  Being closer to home would mean saving a LOT of money in gas, so he could drop at least one night at Monicals.  There is a door that is cracked open, but we don't yet know if it will fully open, or if it will shut.  I would love for it to open wide, but at the same time, we don't want something that wouldn't be a blessing to our family, so we wait.

I am grateful for this time I get at home with our kids.  Kylee is a mere six months away from kindergarten.  I can't believe I will soon have a child in kindergarten.  This time is going by so quickly, it's crazy.  One day we are going to wake up and we'll be sending her off to college.  We keep busy during the week by going to Moms Group at church, gymnastics, sometimes the Exploration Station, stores, the parks when it's warmer, and we have plenty to do here at home.  We now have a rule of no TV during the day.  We got to a point where it seemed it was always on, they were fighting a lot, and they didn't want to do anything.  So I turned it off.  They all play so much better, they are more creative, sillier, we turn worship music on more and sing and dance to that.  We really are trying to enjoy life. 

Just a random kid story.  This morning, we were in the car.  On Monday mornings we usually go to Starbucks for my weekly drink before moms group.  I heard Kylee trying to talk to me in the backseat.  She said, "Mommy, that song that was on before made my tears fall."  I wasn't sure which song she was talking about, so I started going through them so she could tell me which one it was.  The music in our car is almost always a rehearsal CD from church so Nick can practice for worship team or choir.  I figured out which song it was, and asked her why her tears fell during the song.  It's a song that makes my tears fall too, but I wanted to hear what she had to say.  She just kept smiling shyly saying she didn't know.  I explained what the song meant, and she smiled and asked for it again.  I don't really remember what it was like to be five.  I don't know how much impact this is having on her now, or even how small children feel music and if they "get it."  By if she doesn't get it, at least somewhere in her heart, why would it bring tears?

These are the lyrics to the song that "made her tears fall."

I Will Sing Praise I will sing praise, I will lift my voice, I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice. I will sing praise in all I do. I will sing praise to you. (Repeat) No matter the storms that come my way, No matter the trials I may face, You promised that you would see me through. So, I will trust in You. I will sing praise, I will lift my voice, I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice. I will sing praise in all I do. I will sing praise to you. No matter the storms that come my way, No matter the trials I may face, You promised that you would see me through. So, I will trust in you. I will trust in you. I will sing praise, I will lift my voice. I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice. I will sing praise in all I do. I will sing praise to you. I will sing praise to you. I will sing praise to you.

Long time

It's been a long time since I've posted.  The biggest change is we are no longer a family of five, but a family of SIX!!!Micah Monroe joined our family on Saturday, December 17, 2011 at 9:00 P.M.  He weighed 8lbs 5oz and was 20 inches long.  He thought he'd make his grand entrance sunny side up (facing up instead of down-definitely not ideal and more painful than facing down!).  He was born on my Uncle Hetch's birthday.  I am not really surprised he was born on a family members birthday.  I have four aunts and uncles, my grandma, my cousin, Nick's cousin, and who knows who else's birthday in December.  That doesn't include my own birthday and Adleigh's birthday! 

I'm kind of OCD about some things so Micah's birthday was perfect.  I kept telling Nick he had to be born on a Saturday and it had to be an odd numbered day.  At first I wanted him to be born on my grandma's birthday, but that was an even numbered day.  Both of our girls were born on a Wednesday so I thought it'd be so cool if Micah was born on a Saturday like Elijah was.  Then I realized that Kylee was born on an even numbered day and in an even numbered year.  Elijah and Adleigh were born on odd numbered days in odd numbered years.  It was only fitting that Micah be born on an odd numbered day since it was an odd year.  It all worked out beautifully for my dorky brain.  =)

Elijah was so excited to have a brother! I can still picture the look of happiness and pride on his face when he came into my hospital room to see his new brother! We are all so happy with our newest addition.

Cloth Diapering-My thoughts after a year

Five years ago, when I was pregnant with Kylee, I never would have thought I'd be using cloth diapers on one of my kids.  I likely would have laughed in your face if you told me I would love it, and I'd sometimes sit on the internet looking at the different patterns and colors.  I'd laugh even harder if you told me I will do my best to match a diaper to a shirt or dress if we are going out.  But that is where I am today.  A little over a year ago, a friend loaned me a few diapers to try out.  Another friend found out, and then sent me a few that she no longer used, and yet another friend sold me a bunch for really really cheap.  After a couple weeks, I was hooked!  I was planning when I could buy some more to increase my supply.  I found a great deal online from a mom who sold me a few Bum Genius 3.0's, a swimmer diaper, and a few covers for a pretty reasonable price.  It was great!  When tax season came in February, we had a budgeted amount of our return that I was allowed to spend on diapers and other diaper supplies.  I remember the woman working that day commented to Nick how I looked like a kid in a candy store.  Never did I dream I'd get so excited about buying diapers!  So many colors!  Bright, pastels, prints!  It was great!  I think I left the store with somewhere between 15-20 diapers, a FuzziBunz wetbag, and some Eco Sprout detergent (which is only half gone and I've had it for nearly five months!). 

I thought cloth diapering would have been much more difficult than it actually is.  It's not that hard to have to rinse, wash, and dry them.  Well, Nick's job is to rinse them.  I love not having to run out and buy diapers ever coupld of weeks.  What I really love is I don't have to use little bloomers when Adleigh wears a dress!  Cloth diapers are so cute and colorful!  It's cute when they stick out under her skirts and dresses.  I can't say the same for Pampers or Huggies!  When it's a little cooler, I can even pair them with Babylegs!  (If you aren't familiar, check them out!  They are so cute!

I have learned there are certain types of diapers I love, some I like, and others I don't like at all.  Even though they are the most cost effective, I do not like prefolds.  I thought they were more of a pain.  We've used fitteds with covers at night for the past year.  I like them at night, but they are too bulky for during the day.  I think a little fluff is cute, but my girl is little!  She looks a little ridiculous when it gets too "fluffy!"

Our favorites and what we use the most are FuzziBunz one size diapers and BumGenius 4.0's with snaps.  I was so glad when BumGenius came out with snaps because Adleigh can remove the diapers that velcro pretty easily.  I really like Rumparooz one size diapers with snaps, but they are a little more expensive then FuzziBunz or BumGenius, so we only have one right now.  Maybe we'll have more at some point.

These are two fo our FuzziBunz.  See, fun colors!

These are three of our BumGenius 4.0's-colorful and prints!

Happy Heiny's are cute, and there are some adorable prints, but they don't fit Adleigh as well.  They fit great in the waist, but are a little loose in the legs.  Maybe this brand will fit baby #4 better. 

WAHM diapers-This is one of our favorites because we LOVE the Bears at our house.  Made by a mom, but just as good as my other diapers!

 Cloth diapers are easy to dry outside, and the sun helps bleach them naturally.  I've gotten rid of some stains putting them outside.

One happy girl!  She loves her cloth too!

Nice and comfy for sleeping...and makes for much cuter pictures too!

Dear Non-Pregnant Person

Let me preface this by saying this is all in good fun.  The very first time I posted it on facebook, a couple people got their undies in a bunch over it.  It's just a fun reminder that pregnant women shouldn't be stripped of all privacy.  Just because they are pregnant doesn't mean you can ask personal questions about conception, feeding, delivery, or even touch them without permission. 

And before I actually post, I think we actually forgot to announce here that baby #4 is due on Christmas Day(hopefully will NOT be born ON Christmas).  We are very excited about the final addition to our family.  Yes, final.  I am done.

Without further ado:

Disclaimer: While all of these things are true for some pregnant woman at some point or another, they aren't necessarily true for ALL people (although they are for me!), but I DID NOT WRITE THIS. I am merely reposting it, and while much of it is true, it is in good fun.






Dear Non-Pregnant Person,



I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.



1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is 'Congratulations!' with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass.



2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase 'my baby'.



3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby.



4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.



5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is 'You look fabulous!'.



6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.



7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL (Mother-in-Law) or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to 'help out'. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.



8. If you did not receive an invitation to the ultrasound, amnio, hospital, L&D, home then you were not invited. You do not get to trump the mother's call on this one. Don't think you are doing us a favor by just showing up to "help out". If your assistance is needed, it will be requested.



9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.



10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less. I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better.



Signed, All Pregnant Women