I think I'm a bit strange

I am not a hugger. Not with most people anyway. I tense up when most people hug me. I don't mind it when it's my close family, like my parents, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, etc. or my really close friends. But most other people, I get really tense. It makes me very uncomfortable. I hesitate to say anything because I know some people will say something along the lines of "Well, I'm a hugger, so you'll just have to deal with that." But I don't think I should have to. I don't think I should have to hug people I don't want to hug. I don't like it when random people at church do it either. There are very few church people I like to be hugged by. What's even stranger, is on every Love Language test I've taken, physical touch is my top one. I LOVE to be hugged, held, snuggled by my husband. I love it when it's my kids. But most other people, I just don't like it. It feels fake and insincere a lot of the time. And it's people touching me.

I don't like most other people touching me. When I was pregnant with Kylee and Elijah, I HATED when people would touch my belly. I started putting music folders there when I was at church (I worked in the music department when pregnant with Kylee), or I'd carry Kylee on my belly when I was pregnant with Elijah. I hate it. First of all, it's me your touching, not the baby. It's MY belly. Second, I just think it's plain rude to assume it's ok to touch pregnant belly's. There were very few people that I let touch my belly. In fact, I think there were about three after Nick.

When a friend is upset, my first instinct is not to hug them. Is that wrong or bad? Because I don't like to be hugged, especially in a bad situation (because usually it makes me both uncomfortable AND it can turn on the water works) I tend to not do that for others. There are a few that I am close enough to that I KNOW they want a hug, so I do.

Does it make me weird that I don't want most people to touch me? Touch is a very intimiate thing to me. It's a symbol of closeness to me. The problem is what if someone thinks they are close to you, but you don't feel the same way? I have a feeling there are people in my life like that too. I often avoid sharing any time of news with people as much as possible because I don't want to be hugged! Is it wrong? I personally don't think so, but maybe that's because it is who I am. I am who I am. I have a lot of other good qualities. I just don't like to be touched.