Oh, the Mommy Wars

Can I just say how tired I am of hearing crap because I choose to have an epidural when I deliver, or because I am totally fine with an induction? I'm tired of hearing people talk about how the "best" way to deliver is at home, drug free. I'm sick of hearing moms belittle other moms who choose to formula feed. I'm tired of the SAHM vs. WOHM wars.

I think that homebirths are great-if that is what YOU choose. I think unmedicated births are great-if that is what YOU choose. But I don't think my birthing experience is any less special or less of a delivery because I choose to have an epidural or because I am ok with being induced. I don't think that because someone has a c-section it means they aren't experiencing a real birth. Just because a baby doesn't come out of your vagina doesn't mean it's not a real birth. There is a real baby isn't there? I don't understand why moms can't be supportive of other moms regardless of their birthing choice. I almost HAD to go drug-free with Elijah and it was the most awful thing ever. I don't do well with pain. I get stressed out. I don't want to deliver when I stressed. The epidural calms me down. It makes the pain more bearable and easier to work though. I understnad it's not for everyone, but I'm tired of the crap I get from some people. Yes, if my doctor offers an induction, I will take it. Yes, I know it can lead to c-section. I will still take it. I am just tired of people making others feel bad for their choices. (Edited to add-I should also explain that my reason for being absolutely fine with an induction is because of previous issues at the end of my pregnancies. I would rather have a higher risk of a c-section over a higher chance of losing a child because of placental aging that happened too soon or fluid levels that are too low.)

There are two birthing experiences that I don't agree with at all. I do not in any way shape or form support planned unassisted births. I cannot believe that some people would choose to deliver without a midwife or doula or a doctor. There are times when a baby is born before the caregiver gets there, but at least they are coming. I just don't see how someone could put their life or the life of their child in danger. It seems very reckless. Normal, low-risk pregnancies can have complications at birth. I know people who have it happen. I do not support ELECTIVE c-sections. I think it's really stupid to have a major surgery so your baby doesn't come out cone-headed or because you don't want to push, or because your "lady parts" will get stretched out. Oh my word.

I am so sick of the breastfeeding vs. formula feeding wars. I am VERY pro-breastfeeding. It's the healthiest option, it's free, it reduces risk of certain cancers, it's free, it's ready made, it's got anti-bodies specific to your baby, and did I mention it's free? Those are all fantastic reasons for ME to breastfeed! However, I'm not going to judge someone because they CHOOSE to formula feed. I dont always understand it since formula is so stinking expensive, but why judge? Let women make their choice. There are some people who can't breastfeed. Without knowing their circumstances, it can be very hurtful to them to be judged when they tried and couldn't. I lost my supply with Kylee. Lost it. I tried and tried to keep nursing, but I wasn't producing anywhere near enough milk and she would cry and cry because she was so hungry. I wanted to continue breastfeeding, but it didn't work. I nursed, I pumped, I nursed, I pumped. It didn't happen. There wasn't a whole lot I could do. I just don't think it's fair to judge, even if someone chooses formula.

I am sooo very sick of the SAHM vs. WOHM wars. I stay home with my kids. I like it...most days! That is what is best for MY family. I can't say that is the best thing for other families. Some moms don't want to stay home. They don't love their children any less than I do. I don't think all moms are cut out to stay home. Working is tough, staying home is tough, but they are different kinds of tough. I personally think it's been harder and more work for me to stay home. That's not the case for others. I'm sure it's hard leaving your child in someone else's care daily. Some moms just don't have a choice. If we had free, trustworthy child care, I'd probably still have to work, but daycare for three kids is more than I was bringing home when I was working at church...It was more than I was bringing home for two kids.

I just don't understand why we can't all be supportive of each other's choices. I see these things on chatboards all the time and I'm just so tired of moms fighting with each other over these things. Moms need support from other moms. Just because we don't agree with every choice doesn't mean we can support the mom. I just don't get it.