I'm a work in progress

I’m a work in progress.  I think we are meant to be that way until our lives on earth are complete.  God is still working in me.  He will always be working in me as long as I allow it.  More often than not, it’s a difficult process.  But I’m a work in progress. 

Nick and I are doing a read the Bible through in a year (in chronological order) plan on the Bible app on our phones.  How many times have I read the Ten Commandments, but I was still slapped in the face when I read “You must not covet your neighbor’s house.  You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17 (NLT)  Ouch.  I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.  Often it’s difficult to hear when someone gets a new job or a promotion when we are searching for a job.  It sucks when someone years younger than us buys a house and we are still renting.  Or when friends go buy a new (or newer) vehicle, and we’re stuck with this crummy 2002 minivan that seems to have a problem every time we turn around, has over 156,000 miles, and smokes because we have an antifreeze leak. 

God has been working on me for months to just trust him, yet I still hold onto stuff like this.  I still want what my “neighbor” has.  I want that house, that car, that job for my husband.  Now, in addition to trust, God is working on me in the area of contentment.  I feel like God is saying, “Rachel, it doesn’t matter what that person has.  Be thankful for what you do have.  You’re being ungrateful.”  Ungrateful and disobedient apparently.  I was looking at what everyone around me has, but not being thankful for what we do have and how God has provided.  Ungrateful.  I was violating one of the 10 commandments.  Disobedience. 

I believe God has a plan for us.  I know he has the right job for Nick and will provide it in just the right time.  But for now I am thankful for his part time job at Monicals and unemployment checks.  Our van might be old and in need of repairs or replacing, but we have a van that runs and gets us where we need to go.  We might rent instead of owning our house, but we have a place to call home.  I have four healthy kids.  I have a husband who works hard and loves me unconditionally.  We have a great church family and support system.  We have great friends.  This morning on my run, I was listening to some Christian contemporary music on Pandora, and I don’t even know what song came on, but it put me in a spirit of gratefulness.  I started praying and thanking God for all these things.  I felt so much better after that.  Coveting what I cannot have right now does nothing but cause me to be negative.  Being thankful was a great start to my day, and I KNOW that God has a plan for us.  I still have dreams of having a house of our own someday, or a car that is a little newer, and I think dreams are ok.  But I’m not feeling bad about it, and I’m not wondering “why them and not us.”  I’m a work in progress.  I don’t doubt I’ll have my “off” days, but I am thankful that my God has so much grace, and that, when I fail, He’ll be there to help me back up again.